Taking the Leap

Photo by Sammie Vasquez on Unsplash

Wow, it has been a while since I posted anything. I probably have two readers- myself and my partner, so I am not too worried that there are endless amounts of you weeping from a sense of abandonment by my absence.

In this post- let’s talk about how it feels to jump from the safety of being an employee, to moving out on your own, doing your own thing.

It is equally exciting and terrifying.

So, the sensible way to go about this is to save up a bunch of money, build the business while working a full time job, and then make the leap. Maybe I would take on a part-time gig for some financial stability and possible health insurance until the business can cover those expenses.

Or, I could go through a major life trauma, get my brain scrambled, be fired from a contract due to said brain scramble, get on unemployment, apply for a ridiculous number of jobs, manage to blow every single interview for the first time in my life, and then have unemployment run out. I was lucky enough to have five months of emergency funding intact and have a good buddy say- hey, I have a bunch of contract work for you. You ready?

Guess which method I would have preferred?

But here is the thing- while I have had moments of “Oh my God I am going to end up living out of my car with my cat on a leash!!!” I have also had more focus than I have been able to achieve in a couple of years.

Part of this is the knowledge that I don’t have much of a safety net. While I am fine in the short term, if I don’t grow what I have, I am screwed if the market dries up and I can’t come up with a solution. So, there is no room for me to mess around. And funny enough, I am grateful for the pressure.

I also need to acknowledge my privilege here: I am educated and skilled. I have an associate’s and bachelor’s degree in fields that are relevant to my field. And the work I do is in demand. Healing from trauma has shifted my focused and changed my personality in ways I am still getting used to, but my foundation is pretty strong even if I can’t seem to get an employee position to save my life right now.

So- the thoughts and steps I am focusing on are:

  1. Plan, and plan, and make more contingency plans.
  2. I have more strength and knowledge than I think I do. I can do this.
  3. Take one step at a time.
  4. Touch every project I am involved in at least once a day. This may mean just reviewing some notes, or making significant progress depending on the day’s priorities.
  5. Do not lose focus.
  6. Stay open to other opportunities for income. This way, if one stream of income completely tanks, I will have others to rely on as I rebuild.

So, here is where I’m at. And now that I’ve made this transition, I hope it means I will have more room to build, write and create.

If this resonates, if this is you right now, you aren’t alone. Life happens, things go down that can injure and break you. And healing is not linear. It takes time to figure out everything that is broken, how it is going to heal, and how things need to change. And that is okay. You will get there. We both will.